"For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away…" (Malachi 2:16)

"…What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." (Matthew 19:6b)

"But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such [cases]: but God hath called us to peace." (1 Corinthians 7:15)

"Therefore, though I might be very bold in Christ to command you what is fitting, yet for love’s sake I rather appeal to you." (Philemon 1:8,9)

Brothers and Sisters, if you have been divorced, are in the process, or are thinking about it. My deepest prayers go out for you. I pray that you would seek God for wisdom before you make another move! You must think on the things that are eternal, not the things that are temporal. It's important you know the truth. The subject of divorce is very controversial, complex, and multifaceted, and yet it's very important that Christians truly understand this doctrine. There are different views that theologians, scholars, ministers, denominations, and pastors take (which they all claim is Biblical) they are as follows:

1. Divorce and remarriage is Biblical for any reason.

2. Divorce and remarriage is under all circumstances unBiblical.

3. Divorce and remarriage under two exceptions is Biblical (adultery and abandonment).

4. Divorce and remarriage under three exceptions is Biblical (adultery, abandonment, and abuse).

Which one is truly Biblical? One of them must be but only one can be. We must dig deep in order to see the whole picture. In order to understand God's heart on the issue, and any doctrine for that matter, we must be complete and embody of all the material at our disposal. God is a God of logical consistency, and does not change to please us. It's dangerous and sloppy to derive a conclusion based upon a "partial" view of the Scriptures. To illustrate this, look at the graphic below what is it?

Not sure are you? However, this is the position many people have when exegeting passages of Scripture to determine truth. One only "sees" a small part of the whole picture. Below is the graphic in full view and we clearly understand what it is—now we "see" the whole thing and not just a small part.

Many doctrines have been made difficult and confusing with this faulty view of interpreting Scripture. That's not our intentions. So we urge you to be patient, observant, and we beseech you to be obedient to what God has to say no matter how difficult it may seem. What you are about to discover (whether you accept these truths or not) is a literal view, and more importantly, a scriptural view of the truth concerning divorce and remarriage.

Divorce damages family members and weakens society by impact. Divorce and remarriage is not just a private sin, but a public one ruining many families over a lifetime. Like a disease it infects others especially other weak marriages besides for direct damage to all the family members involved. This is the age of Grace and Truth (John 1:14,17) to live as we should by the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit, and not as licensed sinners. Many self-deceived people are following the erroneous doctrines of religious leaders that teach the commandments of men. While laying aside the commandments of God and making them of none effect.

Marriage

"…What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." (Matthew 19:6b)

Marriage is a sacred relationship created by God (Genesis 2:18-25) wherein a man and a woman come together for the purpose of lifelong companionship for each other. With the primary purpose (if the two are Christians) of serving the Lord Jesus, creating a family, and the promotion of the Gospel. Marriage is a covenant of companionship. It's the surrender of separate individuality and the mingling of each in a common stream. The one is to be the complement and counterpart of the other. One is absolutely incomplete without the other. That's God's principal. God's foundation for the home--"The two shall be one flesh."

The "coming together" of a man and woman is comprised of two elements. First, the commitment of relationship (lifelong faithfulness) to each other in the roles that God has called each one to. The husband as the loving leader, and the wife as the submissive follower. A standard secular definition would be defined this way. Marriage is "a compact (covenant) entered into by a man and a woman, to live together as husband and wife." (Funk & Wagnall’s Standard Dictionary, Pg. 781)

And also, "a binding and solemn agreement made by two or more individuals, parties, etc. to do or keep a specified thing; a compact." It's a bilateral contract as well which is a contract involving mutual promises (each part is both promisor and promisee) a contract is a binding agreement between two or more persons. A covenant is a contract. Taking this word to its simplest meaning a covenant is a "bond." The Webster's Dictionary fifth definition of the word bond means "a binding agreement or covenant."

And second, the sexual union whereby the two become one flesh. The "one flesh" refers to both the intimate and unique union that a husband and wife experience in the sexual union as well as the offspring of that union--children. Sexual relations are not the primary purpose of the marriage, but rather a blessing bestowed and a privilege granted in the marriage relationship. Once again, God's intent for the marriage relationship is that it be permanent as long as each spouse lives (Genesis 1:27; 2:18-25; 23:2 and 25:1; Matthew 19:6, 8-9; 1 Corinthians 7:39).

This union, this oneness of the two people involved in marriage, had been chosen as an emblem of the union of Christ and His Church. Being instituted of God and sanctified by Him. The relationship of husband and wife to each other is to be as sacred as the relationship between Christ and the Church. If you desire God to be faithful to you and not "separate from you" why would you expect Him to accept you leaving your spouse, for any reason, and marrying someone else?

Moreover, Where in the Bible does God "join" two lost people in marriage? Unsaved people are dead, lost, without hope, and without God yet God "joins" them together as husband and wife? Hardly. Sure, their marriage is a marriage since flesh has joined flesh, but where does the Scriptures say God is the one who joined them? How about a saved person that married a lost person? Does God join them even after He forbids the union? (1 Corinthians 7:39; 2 Corinthians 6:14-18) They have agreed to join themselves in a relationship mode God has established, but to say God is the one who is actually joining them is not accurate.

Contrary to the traditions of men, the marriage relationship is entered into when a man and a woman commit themselves to each other, before the Lord, as husband and wife, and then consummate that commitment with the sexual union. These two elements, commitment and sex, define God's view of marriage. He has strictly confined this to a man and a woman only. If sex was the only binding tie then lesbianism, homosexuality, bestiality, and the like would be considered a "valid marriage" and that's simply not true. The New Testament offers no precepts or guidelines for ceremonies of marriage. The New Testament contains accounts of marriage customs as examples.

There is neither command nor precept in the Bible that says some "clergy" is to "marry" the couple. No man can marry a couple because it's the Lord who created and ordains the institution, and He gives no command in the New Testament whereby He calls for a man to serve as the agent of approving the marriage. The couple is to be married before the Lord first and foremost. It might be wise to have others as witnesses to the commitment, as well as to share in the joy of a public commitment, but the Lord does not command this. We are not to make an oath or vow in this commitment. See www.kingshouse.org/oathsandvows.htm as to why we should not do this.

We keep our word because we are believers in Christ; not because we took a vow. There's a real misconception about one being loyal to the marriage vows instead of the marriage. How many times do we hear "you had better stay, remember your vows to him/her 'for better or worse sickness and in health'" how ridiculous. Perhaps most of the whole vow thing has some scriptural overtones, but the only Biblical part is "till death do you part." A Biblical marriage is not simply a contract between two people to behave in a certain way. It's an unbreakable bond. You can get a divorce from a civil court, but it will only be an imaginary one. Like a chicken that, not wanting to be a bird, decides it's a dog. All its barnyard fellows may be very supportive and agree that it's no longer a chicken, but that doesn't make it so.

If the couple lives in a country where laws exist that require the marriage be "registered" in the government's eyes in some manner should they submit to those laws? But we must understand no approval from any state or government can validate a marriage (see "5 Reasons Why Christians Should Not Obtain a State Marriage License").

There is also Biblical support for the practice of a betrothal period before the man and the woman consummate the marriage with the sexual union. Although the support for the betrothal period (somewhat like the current custom of engagement except moral purity is observed) is from the ceremonial law in the Old Covenant. Yet there is wisdom in waiting and proving one another that each other's faith is real. Marriage is neither an ideal nor a sacrament but is a covenant. God’s perfect will in monogamous marriage is defectively imaged in a divorce. We started with marriage because we need to know exactly what it is that can be broken (if at all). We will attempt to be brief. We want to totally rely on the Bible (which is God's word to us) for the definitions.

"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed." (Genesis 2:18-25)

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth." (Genesis 1:27)

The above verses clearly indicate that God started marriage. It's between a man and a woman only. Women were made for the man to be with him forever and to help him in life. As a young man grows older he is to leave his parents, find a wife, and marry her. God blessed them, and commanded them to fill the earth—to procreate. Let's look at some key words in these passages and their definitions.

Leave - aw-zab' to relinquish, forsake, in others words to go out from under his parents' authority, find a wife, and start his own family.

Cleave - daw-bak' cling or adhere, cleave to, follow close (hard, after), be joined (together), stick.

Wife – This is the first time we see the use of the word wife in the Bible. Ish-shaw female, wife, or woman.

The word married in the Hebrew language as many definitions. But when used in the context of two people, a man and a woman, it means a coming together of one another. There is a very clear example of what marriage is, according to God, in Genesis 24:40,67.

"And he said unto me, The LORD, before whom I walk, will send his angel with thee, and prosper thy way; and thou shalt take a wife for my son of my kindred, and of my father's house…And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death."

Notice, that Isaac "…took Rebekah…and she became his wife." Literally, he took Rebekah into his tent and consummated his taking or coming together with her—they had sex and in doing so she became his wife. No legal papers, no ministers, no witness to the marriage. Just them and God. See also Genesis 16:3,4; 19:14; 24:40,67; 25:1; 29:23-28; 30:3,4,9; 38:8; Exodus 21:4; 22:16,17; Deuteronomy 20:7; 22:13-19; Joshua 15:16-18; 1 Chronicles 2:19; Psalms 128:3; Proverbs 18:22; 31:10-31; Ecclesiastes 9:9; All of Song of Solomon; Isaiah 8:3; 62:5; Joel 1:8.

The example of the way two people come together to make marriage as indicated in Genesis 24:40,67. It's also exemplified in single men going in to an unmarried woman see Exodus 22:16,17; Deuteronomy 22:13-29; Isaiah 8:3. The New Testament also agrees with this concept put down by God.

"Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost." (Matthew 1:18)

"Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot God forbid. What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh." (1 Corinthians 6:15,16)

See also 1 Corinthians 7:1-17,28,29; 32-40; 9:5; 11:3,7-12; 14:34,35; Ephesians 5:22,33; Colossians 3:18,19; 1 Timothy 2:9-11; 3:2,12; Titus 1:6; 2:3-5; Hebrews 13:4; 1 Peter 3:1-7. One of the interesting things is that in heaven there will be no marriage according to Matthew 22:30.

So, from the very beginning it's clear that God declares the defining act of marriage as the life long commitment to each other and the physical union of a man and a woman "one flesh." There is no vow, ceremony, or ritual even hinted at. Nearly all marriages in the Bible would be today considered "common law" marriages. The two parties simply agree to live together as man and wife and join as "one flesh."

According to the World Book Encyclopedia, some states still recognize common law marriage as a valid legal marriage, and treat the couple as "husband and wife" apart from any ceremony or "vows." Throughout history, and in nearly every culture the physical union and commitment of covenant relationship of a man and woman, has been considered the act of marriage.

The permanence of marriage between two Christians is stated this way. "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." (Matthew 19:6)

Another example is given to us in Genesis 23:2 and 25:1 of the permanence of marriage until death. Sarah died in chapter 23:2 and in chapter 25:1 Abraham marries again.

"And Sarah died in Kirjatharba… Then again Abraham took a wife, and her name was Keturah."

In the Old Testament especially there was polygamy and the taking of concubines in which God neither condones nor condemns these actions. Numbers 31:18; Judges 8:30,31; 1 Samuel 1:2; 25:39-44; 2 Samuel 12:7-12; 1 Kings 11:1-4,8; 1 Chronicles 1:26; 3:2-9. In the case of having multiple wives or concubines, as in Solomon's case, the Lord was not so much angry because of the number of wives or concubines, but that they turned his heart away from God. Genesis 25:6; Judges 19:1,2; 2 Samuel 20:3; 1 Kings 11:1-4,8; 1 Chronicles 1:32,48; 3:2-9; 7:14; 2 Chronicles 11:21,23; Daniel 5:2,3. 1 Chronicles 7:4; 8:8; 14:3; 2 Chronicles 11:21,23; 13:21; 21:17; 24:3; Esther 1:19; 2:2,4,13,14,17; Isaiah 4:1; Daniel 5:2,3; Zechariah 12:12-14.

Christ would not have disagreed with His own statements recorded in Genesis. It was Jesus Christ who was the true author of marriage, and He is the only one qualified to tell us the laws governing divorce and remarriage.

Ever since Adam and Eve, in the garden, rejected God's government—His rule over their lives—mankind has no longer taken God into such relationships as marriage, business partnerships, or into education and its institutions responsible for teaching right knowledge. People do not want God entering or becoming part of their lives, but they do want His blessings. Yet, so many marriages today lack those blessings.

Marriage must continue until the death of one of the spouses (which is permanent separation). For those that believe divorce is a permanent separation of marriage how would you explain the following. What if a believing couple are married and one of them contracts a disease like Alzheimer's or dementia and is put into a care facility. They see each other but cannot be intimate or continue their life as it was. Are they, after many years together, unmarried? No.

What about if one spouse is lost in a plane accident and is never found, but is still alive somewhere, are they unmarried? No. Why is it that some men have their wives killed so the could be with another woman if the conscience did not declare the permanence of marriage in their minds. Even if a war or natural disaster physically separates a husband and wife, they are still considered married if they have a hope of one-day finding each other. Marriage is only ended in God's view by death of one of the spouses. Jesus tells us that God seals the marriage as final and denies man the authority to end it.

There are cases where even the state will not recognize a current marriage of a divorced person. Consider this true story A man and his stepson were working on their roof, the boy fell off the roof, and was taken to the hospital. Once there not having insurance the step dad was asked many questions. One of them was "are you the Father of the boy?" the reply was "no." After the paper work was completed the hospital, under the authority of the county, was trying to track down the boy's Dad to get him to pay the bill and is still doing so to this day. Much more can and should be said about what marriage is. Certainly Ephesians 5:22 through verse 33 is quite specific concerning obligations of both the husband the wife. As well as many others scriptures that speak to marriage and the roles of the husband and wife. That will be for another time.

Betrothal

In order to fully understand marriage we must look at the aspect of the betrothal. The word wife (ishshaw in Hebrew) is translated "wife or woman." The same is true in the Greek (goonay) "wife or woman." In America, for example, we only consider a woman a "wife" after she has entered the marriage covenant relationship—she is never thought of as a young woman who is merely "betrothed." She is never presently considered "wife" even during an engagement period. We may call her a fiancée but never a wife.

The Jews considered the bride and groom as husband and wife legally even before their fathers gave them permission to set up their own housekeeping and physically consummate the written betrothal agreement into one flesh with the sexual union. But that was the Hebrew fashion of taking a wife. She was his "legal" wife at betrothal even if they would not physically consummate the marriage into one flesh for up to a year later.

Betrothal is a very serious relationship, legally binding as marriage itself, to the Jews. So that even before the marriage is consummated the woman is called a wife. And under the law, she was dealt with as a wife instead of as a single young virgin if sexual mischief occurred (Deuteronomy 22:13-29). Mary is Joseph's "betrothed wife" (espoused Luke 2:5 and Matthew 1:18) because they had not yet come together sexually. The church is currently espoused or betrothed (2 Corinthians 11:2) to Christ, until our consummation at the resurrection when we shall be like Him.

What does the word betrothal mean? It's used only nine times and never in the New Testament. It means by agreement, engaged to marry, or agree. See Exodus 21:8,9; 22:16; Leviticus 19:20; Deuteronomy 20:7; 22:23,25,27,28. The word engaged is never used in the context of marriage. Espoused is used five times, and only once in the Old Testament, meaning engaged for marriage or betrothed when David spoke about his wife Michal (2 Samuel 3:14). In the New Testament it means gives a souvenir or betroths. In the Bible these terms refer to a contractual agreement between a man and woman (or their families) that they intend to become husband and wife.

Betrothal starts when a couple agrees to give themselves to each other in marriage and ends in the actual marriage. Jewish betrothal is different from modern-day engagement in one significant way. Once a couple was betrothed they were regarded by the rest of society as "one flesh," and were called husband and wife. Usually within a year to eighteen months after becoming betrothed the couple consummated the marriage. In Jewish society; however, once a couple is betrothed they could not just call it quits. A betrothed couple in Jewish society had to obtain a legal divorce. Even though they were only engaged, and had never lived together as man and wife, they were considered married and must get a divorce if they wanted to separate. And it had to be for uncleanness or fornication only.

Sex is not "the" binding tie to marriage. Consider that if a man rapes a young girl, does God prohibit her for marriage unless the rapist dies? Or the promiscuity of two young people is described in the scriptures as fornication, which is sin, yet fornication cannot be the tie that binds. If a man has relations with a prostitute are they married? And would they have no right to a second marriage—unless the first party dies? Obviously not. Let's look and some examples to further prove that in God's view two people are considered married before they have sexual relations when committed to each other.

"Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes… And Lot went out, and spake unto his sons in law, which married his daughters, and said, Up, get you out of this place; for the LORD will destroy this city. But he seemed as one that mocked unto his sons in law." (Genesis 19:8,14)

In this account we see that Lot's daughters are considered virgins, which have not known man, and yet married. Lot,...spake unto his sons in law, which married his daughters.  Even the two messengers agreed when they state in verse twelve, "and the men said unto Lot, Hast thou here any besides? son in law, and thy sons, and thy daughters, and whatsoever thou hast in the city, bring them out of this place."

"And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her. And Jacob said unto Laban, Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her." (Genesis 29:20,21)

Here Jacob serves seven years for Rachel. That is an unusually long betrothal time, but do you think Rachel could have dated other men during this time or be looking for someone else? No. The agreement was that Rachel was given to Jacob period. Notice Jacob calls her his "wife" and then he completes it saying, "…that I may go in unto her."

Also consider in the New Testament Joseph and Mary.

"Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily. But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost." (Matthew 1:18-20)

Joseph was espoused to Mary (they had a covenant of agreement to belong to each other) it says he was her husband and then in verse 20 he is told not to be afraid to take Mary thy wife.

The following addresses the situation of a woman in betrothal. Exodus 21:8-11 – This deals with slaves given in betrothal. Exodus 22:16,17 – this deals with an unmarried man that lies with a women not betrothed if so she must become his wife. Leviticus 19:20 – this deals with a slave woman betrothed and lies with a man she shall be punished. Deuteronomy 20:7 – here is a man and a woman betrothed but not yet consummated if he dies another man is free to marry her. Recognizing only death separates even in betrothal. Deuteronomy 22:23,24,25 – here both are executed because in betrothal she lied with a man and did not cry out. The man because he lied with her being called a wife although still in betrothal which is considered adultery. Deuteronomy 22:28 – here it's the same as Exodus 22:16,17.

In this section we've learned the following. That marriage is a sacred relationship created by God between a man and a woman only. That it is a covenant/agreement--a binding contract wherein a lifelong commitment is entered into and consummated by sex. It is God's desire and command that it's permanent until death separates. "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." (Matthew 19:6)

WARNING this subject can not be taken lightly. It is a matter of life and death as is all sin.

Can people, Christians especially, get divorced? People do get divorced all the time; in fact statistics say the following:

"In the United States, it is often quoted that "50% of marriages end in divorce," however we must closely examine the actual statistics to understand the actual divorce rate. According to the National Center for Health Statistics (part of the Center for Disease Control), in 2001 the per capita marriage rate was 7.8 marriages in 1,000 people (0.78%). This means that for every 1,000 people living in the US, in 7.8 marriages were performed during the year 2001, or 15.6 individuals got married. The divorce rate was 4.0 divorces per 1,000 people (0.40%), or 8.0 out of every 1,000 people got divorces during 2001." (http://www.bambooweb.com/articles/d/i/Divorce.html)

What about Christians? consider the following:

"A recent study by the Barna Research Group throws extreme doubt on these estimates. Barna released the results of their poll about divorce on 1999-DEC-21. 1 They had interviewed 3,854 adults from the 48 contiguous states. The sampling error is within 2 percentage points. The survey found: 11% of the adult population is currently divorced. 25% of adults have had at least one divorce during their lifetime. Divorce rates among conservative Christians were much higher than for other faith groups. Most likely around 20-30%." (http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_dira.htm)

A new survey just released on September 8, 2004 regarding divorce among Christians.

"Among married born again Christians, 35% have experienced a divorce. That figure is identical to the outcome among married adults who are not born again: 35%." (http://www.barna.org/FlexPage.aspx?Page=BarnaUpdateNarrow&BarnaUpdateID=170)

No matter how we chop it up it's still high for both the nation and Christians. Does this disturb you? It should. Consider the following:

"Donald Hughes, author of The Divorce Reality, said: "In the churches, people have a superstitious view that Christianity will keep them from divorce, but they are subject to the same problems as everyone else, and they include a lack of relationship skills. ...Just being born again is not a rabbit's foot." Hughes claim that 90% of divorces among born-again couples occur after they have been 'saved.'"

And also consider the following:

"…The number one reason cited in divorce proceedings for the general population was incompatibility, but Christians rarely use that as grounds for a divorce. In the Christian population, the reasons are adultery, abuse (including substance, physical, and verbal abuse) and abandonment," Whiteman says. And Christians tend to hang on to bad marriages longer than others, he says. "The good news is we are staying together longer and taking marriage seriously, but the bad news is we're putting up with a lot more pain and ending up getting divorced anyway."

We will address every verse of Scripture that speaks directly to this subject. And we will also address every Scripture that shows by example this subject. We understand that in common usage divorce means when a marriage between a man and a woman ends in which both parties agree to leave the relationship never intending to return. They "file papers" so that the marriage no longer exists, and they each go to live separately and move on to "find someone else" or get on with their life. The Bible defines it as sending the wife out. It is sin. It does not matter what the government, both local and federal, say. It is God that determines marriage and it is He that determines divorce, and He says he hates it.

Divorce in the time of the Bible was composed of three parts. 1) Write a Bill of Divorcement. 2) put it in her hand. 3) Send her out of the house. Today divorce is too easy. A little money and paperwork and two people can go their separate ways. There is very little concern for what God says about the matter. What God says is very strict. Because of this, many try to get around God's Laws. They say that it's to complicated it's not. What's complicated is man's attempts to get around God's Laws. We must cease from sin to repent. What is so hard about this to understand? It's because some don't like the conclusions.

Being married is serious thing. All to often the idea is if it doesn't work then divorce and try again. We may divorce and remarry as far as man's laws are concerned, but God still holds you responsible to the first marriage. If one ever remarries after a divorce, God doesn't see it as marriage but as adultery? The reason it is adultery is because as far as God is concerned they are still married to the first? It makes no difference what man may think. There can be no divorce between a man and a man, or a woman and a woman. God does not recognize homosexuality and lesbianism at all. That's clear and plain from the Holy Scriptures and nature itself.

Please remember that divorce is a sin. However, it is not the most grievous, nor is it the unpardonable sin. Sometimes things do happen, as sad as it is, sometimes they do happen. I do have compassion on those that have been divorced. But we must remember Scripture is God's instruction to us, and we must obey no matter how uncomfortable it may be.

We will, seeing we need to understand God's heart on the matter, start with the Old Testament and move to the New Testament. We do this to go back to that wide view of Scripture, and to help us to understand that God is a God of logical consistency. One of the most important things to remember is that which is set down as the basic law of hermeneutics—always interpret the Old Testament in light (or understanding) of the New never the reverse. On the same line ask yourself this question. Who are you going to believe God the Lord Jesus or your pastor, ministry, denomination, or favorite Bible teacher? With that said, let's move on.

The Old Testament

The word divorce (Hebrew gaw-rash') to drive out from a possession, drive away or forth, expel, put away, thrust out, and (ker-ee-thooth') meaning dismissal or divorcement, is used only four times in the Old Testament. The words put away or sends away are used many times. They mean the same thing except when dealing with slave women as opposed to free women. Slave or captive women were not granted the "bill of divorcement" as free women were. The bill of divorcement was an act of mercy in the pain so that she could prove her divorce, and would not be branded an adulteress. Divorce means to send out or away.

Let's deal with the passages that speak to divorce in the Old Testament. In all of the Old Testament, and even in the New, the language is heavily constructed to indicate that a man was not to divorce or put away his wife. Never is the women to be the initiator of a divorce. In the entire Bible women are never ever to leave their husbands (Jeremiah 3:20).

"Now Sarai Abram's wife bare him no children: and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar. And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai. And Sarai Abram's wife took Hagar her maid the Egyptian, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife. And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived: and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes. And Sarai said unto Abram, My wrong be upon thee: I have given my maid into thy bosom; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes: the LORD judge between me and thee." (Genesis 16:1-5)

In this passage Sarai (Sarah) give Hagar to her husband Abraham. Men did take multiple wives but at this time it was not the norm. This was not a deceptive situation as with Jacob, Rachel, and Leah. In fact, Sarai is trying to help God with the promise He made to Abraham. Classic human thinking getting in the way of God's thinking. Hagar is given as Abraham's wife. After Hagar conceives Sarai admits her guilt and wrong doing (Hebrew khaw-mawce) meaning wrong, damage, false, or wrong dealing. Sarai admits that the situation was wrong. Later we find the following:

"And the child grew, and was weaned: and Abraham made a great feast the same day that Isaac was weaned. And Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, which she had born unto Abraham, mocking. Wherefore she said unto Abraham, Cast out this bondwoman and her son: for the son of this bondwoman shall not be heir with my son, even with Isaac. And the thing was very grievous in Abraham's sight because of his son. And God said unto Abraham, Let it not be grievous in thy sight because of the lad, and because of thy bondwoman; in all that Sarah hath said unto thee, hearken unto her voice; for in Isaac shall thy seed be called." (Genesis 21:8-12)

Notice, it says cast out the bondwoman and her son. The words cast out is qaw-rash the same word used for divorce. Literally Abraham is sending out (divorcing) Hagar. Why? Because it was not a recognized legitimate marriage. Abraham was upset—thinking this was very wrong because of his son Ishmael, but look what God says, and God said unto Abraham, Let it not be grievous in thy sight because of the lad, and because of thy bondwoman; in all that Sarah hath said unto thee, hearken unto her voice….

In the above passage of Genesis 21:8-12, and those of Ezra and Nehemiah, it's clear that when an adulterous union is joined; God approves of the sending out of the other person because the other spouse is still married to them. However, there is no command or example of this in the New Testament.

"They shall not take a wife that is a whore, or profane; neither shall they take a woman put away from her husband: for he is holy unto his God… A widow, or a divorced woman, or profane, or an harlot, these shall he not take: but he shall take a virgin of his own people to wife." (Leviticus 21:7,14)

"But if the priest's daughter be a widow, or divorced, and have no child, and is returned unto her father's house, as in her youth, she shall eat of her father's meat: but there shall no stranger eat thereof." (Leviticus 22:13)

"But every vow of a widow, and of her that is divorced, wherewith they have bound their souls, shall stand against her." (Numbers 30:9)

Someone might say, "see brother, here are some passages that teach there is divorce what do you say to that?" I'm not denying that there was no divorce. However, lets look at this carefully in light of other Scriptures. The passages do show that there were divorced women. Why? "he saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so." (Matthew 19:8)

These women were divorced by the prescribed rule of Deuteronomy 24:1. How do we know this? If the only reason that a man could divorce his betrothed/wife were that he found that she was not a virgin on their consummation; then there would be divorced women as we see. These women are products of Deuteronomy 24:1 nothing more. However, if he found out much later that she had sex with another man she would have been stoned for adultery as prescribed according to the law.

"Moreover thou shalt not lie carnally with thy neighbour's wife, to defile thyself with her." (Leviticus 18:20)

"And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death." (Leviticus 20:10)

These women are products of Deuteronomy 24:1 nothing more.

"When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the LORD thy God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken them captive, And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife; Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house; and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails; And she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and shall remain in thine house, and bewail her father and her mother a full month: and after that thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife. And it shall be, if thou have no delight in her, then thou shalt let her go whither she will; but thou shalt not sell her at all for money, thou shalt not make merchandise of her, because thou hast humbled her." (Deuteronomy 21:10-14)

This passage is dealing with the captive or salve women which we have already addressed. Notice, when thou goest forth to war against thine enemies…. These were not limited to but include the seven nations God said he would drive out.

"If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her, And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid: Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate: And the damsel's father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her; And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city. And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him; And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days." (Deuteronomy 22:13-19)

This passage is a kind of pre-law to chapter 24:1. It's the Old Testament example of Matthew 1:18 with Joseph and Mary. Notice, if any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her, And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid. In other words he says I came in unto her on our wedding night (notice right then right there not months or years later) and he finds her not a virgin. Now he dislikes her because things have changed. This would be similar to the situation with Amnon and Tamar in 2 Samuel 13:14,15. The law did not prescribe or encourage divorce. It simply assumes the course of action a husband would or could take if he found "some indecency in her."

It's important to note that Moses did not require a man to divorce his wife if he found "some indecency" in her. He simply permitted not commanded it due to the hardness of the Israelites' hearts (Matt 19:8; Mark 10:5) who had rejected God's original plan for marriage (Mark 10:9; Genesis 2:24). What Moses required was that a divorce document be written to discourage hasty divorces, and to mitigate the hardship of divorce. Even when the divorce document was given the way for reconciliation was still open as long as the woman did not form a second marriage.

Moreover, the man in this passage tries to say she was not a virgin (using the excuse that she might have been with someone else) and says, "she was not a virgin when I came in unto her." In this case the Father of the woman comes to prove her honor, and the young man wrong by producing evidence of her virginity before she married him. I do not know what this evidence could have been perhaps a menstrual cloth as alluded to in verse seventeen. It really doesn't matter. The elders fine him and is given a command following what is right according to God that, "she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days." He can't divorce her ever. They repeat the life long commitment to him and made sure he understood the permanence of marriage—seeing he had the propensity to attempt to put her away. Keep this in mind. The above is not technically describing a divorce, but rather an annulment. God never bound the marriage, because one partner lied from the beginning! If there is a major problem, hidden from the beginning, and the person that learns it raises the issue, the marriage would be annulled.

"When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife. And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife; Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance." (Deuteronomy 24:1-4)

Deuteronomy 24:1-4 is undoubtedly the very text many use to justify divorce and remarriage. Seeing that it is let's take a closer look at what it says. Why is this section of Scripture different from chapter 22:13-29? Here the man is granted permission to divorce his wife upon conditions. Finding out what these verses teach will help us greatly when we come to Matthew 19:3-12. God plainly states that He hates divorce. This has always been His perspective of it. But, by the time Moses was teaching Israel (2,500 years after Genesis 2), men were obtaining divorces without regard to God’s will. As a result, God inspired Moses to explain, in effect, "When this happens, the man can never take his wife back."

When a man hath taken a wife, and married her… clearly this is that a man has found a wife and gone in unto her—had sex with her. And what is the Bible definition of marriage? (Genesis 24:67; 29:23). Next and it come to pass… Many have argued that the phrase come to pass must mean over a long period of time, but not necessarily (this is where it's assumed that someone can divorce for adultery). In fact, it has many meanings it could mean within the hour, two hours, or in the morning as Genesis 29:25 shows. Or as Matthew 19:1 shows within minutes "and it came to pass, that when Jesus had finished these sayings."

Next, it says that she find no favour (Hebrew khane meaning pleasantness or favor) in his eyes. He found something wrong, something that displeased him, something that was not right. Why? Because he found "some uncleanness" in her. The word used here for uncleanness in Deuteronomy 24:1 is er-vaw meaning nudity, nakedness, shame, or uncleanness. It comes from the Hebrew word 'arah, which means "to make bare, empty, destitute, discover, make naked, or uncover. This is the only time in the Old Testament that this Hebrew word er-vaw is used as uncleanness. In all other places uncleanness is toom-aw meaning religious impurity, filthiness, or uncleanness. Again using the Bible as our dictionary what does nakedness mean? We go to Leviticus 20:10,11, and 17 for the answer.

"And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. And the man that lieth with his father's wife hath uncovered his father's nakedness: both of them shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them… And if a man shall take his sister, his father's daughter, or his mother's daughter, and see her nakedness, and she see his nakedness; it is a wicked thing; and they shall be cut off in the sight of their people: he hath uncovered his sister's nakedness; he shall bear his iniquity."

So what does nakedness mean? It's the word er-vaw meaning nudity, nakedness, shame, and uncleanness. It could have just as easily been translated nudity or nakedness. In other words, perhaps she has been naked in front of another man. In the above passages one assumes that sex is connected with this nakedness. There are other passages that use this word, but no sex is connected with it as in the use of "to look only" as in Genesis 9:22,23.

Notice, that upon finding some uncleanness in her he has a valid reason based on some fornication she must have committed and kept hidden from the community until this wedding night. The man on his wedding night might not have been able to determine that she was not a virgin until later. Again, as we have said come to pass does not always mean much later. He was not like the man in chapter 22:13-29 in just hating her. In whatever time it took he did find uncleanness or nakedness in her. She must have lied to him and made him think she was a virgin. Think of it, he is betrothed to her, marries her, and on his wedding night discovers she is not what he is expecting. How horrible this must have been.

It was through the hardness of their hearts that the permission was given not of a command. Bare in mind this was not God's intent, but it still happens. What is he to do? He can't stone her for fornication now neither can he stone her for adultery, but he does not want to remain with her being a liar and has acted as a whore. He write(s) her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. This is just as we have said before, the bill of divorcement was an act of mercy in the pain so she might prove her divorce, and not be branded an adulteress.

Now she is out of the house and granted, because of the uncleanness he found in her, the right to remarry. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's. However, some conditions are put upon her. Which is and if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife; her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled….

The latter husband must follow the same rule as the first—upon marrying if he then finds her unclean, probably due to her first marriage, he can send her out. BUT she is not to go back to her first husband even if her second husband dies. Why? because after that she is defiled. The text does not say whether she could go and marry someone else, neither does it say she cannot, we assume she could. That divorce should be permitted and legislated for is the measure of the Israelite's fall from the true knowledge of the Lord. Legal divorce does not dissolve a marriage.

Keep this in mind. The above is not technically describing a divorce, but rather an annulment. God never bound the marriage because one partner lied from the beginning! If there is a major problem, hidden from the beginning, and the person that learns it raises the issue, the marriage would be annulled.

Most scholars recognize that the Law of Moses states that God imposes the death penalty on all who commit adultery (Leviticus 20:10). However, in the case law of Deuteronomy 24, Moses states that while the one who remarries after a divorce is defiled by adultery (and therefore may not return to their original spouses) Moses fails to define a civil penalty for this sin. No where does Moses decree that adultery committed by means of divorce and remarriage require the death penalty. This lack of a civil penalty (of death) is considered to be a form of "permission." The spiritual condemnation still remains and forgiveness from God must be sought, but the adulterers will not be executed.

Finally, the reason? for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance."

"Now therefore let us make a covenant with our God to put away all the wives, and such as are born of them, according to the counsel of my lord, and of those that tremble at the commandment of our God; and let it be done according to the law… Now therefore make confession unto the LORD God of your fathers, and do his pleasure: and separate yourselves from the people of the land, and from the strange wives… And they gave their hands that they would put away their wives; and being guilty, they offered a ram of the flock for their trespass." (Ezra 10:3,11,19)

"In those days also saw I Jews that had married wives of Ashdod, of Ammon, and of Moab: And their children spake half in the speech of Ashdod, and could not speak in the Jews' language, but according to the language of each people. And I contended with them, and cursed them, and smote certain of them, and plucked off their hair, and made them swear by God, saying, Ye shall not give your daughters unto their sons, nor take their daughters unto your sons, or for yourselves. Did not Solomon king of Israel sin by these things? yet among many nations was there no king like him, who was beloved of his God, and God made him king over all Israel: nevertheless even him did outlandish women cause to sin. Shall we then hearken unto you to do all this great evil, to transgress against our God in marrying strange wives?" (Nehemiah 13:23-27)

These passages deal with the disobedience of God's people in rebelling against His explicit command not to marry foreign or heathen wives. Especially the women of the seven nations He has marked out for destruction. The action presented is extreme, but so many had done this sin that in remaining with those women it would have caused them to continue in that sin.

Actually, were told in verse two that Shechaniah the son of Jehiel, one of the sons of Elam is the one that suggested this plan. God is totally silent on this decision. This does not mean He approved of it. It does not mean He condemned either He is simply silent. They felt separating from them was the only way.

"Thus saith the LORD, Where is the bill of your mother's divorcement, whom I have put away? or which of my creditors is it to whom I have sold you? Behold, for your iniquities have ye sold yourselves, and for your transgressions is your mother put away." (Isaiah 50:1)

Here in Isaiah God is speaking in a type of parable about the children of Israel. He uses the description of putting away. The word used here is shaw-lakh meaning to cast away, forsake, let depart, or push away. The tone of this indicates that it was not permanent. Because the previous verse said He was their savior and redeemer.

If we look at the words put away (shaw-lakh) it can also mean push away it is quite possible to say "for your transgressions is your mother pushed away…" why? Because in Habakkuk 1:13 it says, "Thou art of purer eyes than to behold evil, and canst not look on iniquity: wherefore lookest thou upon them that deal treacherously, and holdest thy tongue when the wicked devoureth the man that is more righteous than he?" It's puerile to say God divorces His people. That's poor reasoning to imply our God divorced Israel to justify divorce for us.

"They say, If a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and become another man's, shall he return unto her again? shall not that land be greatly polluted? but thou hast played the harlot with many lovers; yet return again to me, saith the LORD…Surely as a wife treacherously departeth from her husband, so have ye dealt treacherously with me, O house of Israel, saith the LORD." (Jeremiah 3:1,20)

This is very straightforward. God repeats the Deuteronomy 24:1-4 teaching in the form of a question which the obvious answer is yes. God does not say she has gone and married someone else only that she hast played the harlot with many lovers. He desires her to return to Him. This would only be possible in a human relationship if she had not gone and married someone else.

In verse twenty God says, affirming that a woman MUST not leave or divorce her husband, Surely as a wife treacherously departeth from her husband. The words treacherously departeth (baw-gad) means to unfaithfully forsake or to offend in forsaking. So He says as a wife "unfaithfully forsakes" her husband. Israel is accused of doing the same thing to God.

He warns against putting away because it undermines the home and destroys morality. It's strange that any teacher of religion would make allowance for what God clearly disallows. The primary purpose of the divorce procedure was to close the way forever for the man to remarry his former wife once she had remarried. The reason is that if a husband could easily remarry the same woman divorce would become a "legal" form of committing adultery.

"The beginning of the word of the LORD by Hosea. And the LORD said to Hosea, Go, take unto thee a wife of whoredoms and children of whoredoms: for the land hath committed great whoredom, departing from the LORD." (Hosea 1:2)

In this portion of Scripture God commands Hosea to go and take Gomer for his wife. This is a demonstration for an example of the grace and love God has for his people. We know this because God says, for the land hath committed great whoredom, departing from the LORD."

"Say ye unto your brethren, Ammi; and to your sisters, Ruhamah. Plead with your mother, plead: for she is not my wife, neither am I her husband: let her therefore put away her whoredoms out of her sight, and her adulteries from between her breasts." (Hosea 2:1,2)

Many have tried to say that this proves God divorces and such because it says for she is not my wife, neither am I her husband. However, this word "not" (loh) can also mean verily, surely, as truly as, or of a truth. Also the word "neither" is the same Hebrew word (loh). So if God brought Hosea and Gomer together, as strange as it seems, and God desires that a man does not put asunder a marriage than it would be very logical that this passage could read like this "for she surely my wife surely as I her husband."

But we can't stop there. If we keep reading we find confirmation to this in verse seven. "And she shall follow after her lovers, but she shall not overtake them; and she shall seek them, but shall not find them: then shall she say, I will go and return to my first husband; for then was it better with me than now."

"Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously." (Malachi 2:14-16)

Finally, we come to the last place in the Old Testament, Malachi (whose name means "my messenger"), that deals with the subject of divorce. In the clearest and truest possible language God declares His feeling on divorce for the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away. All of these verses are frightening for anyone thinking God is not aware of what we do.

God sees and knows your heart in marriage matters. Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth. Notice, the "wife of your youth" as Proverbs 5:18 states. He goes on to affirm the permanence and the grounding of marriage between and man and his wife saying, yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. The word covenant (bereeth) means compact, league, or agreement. This goes back to what we discussed about marriage being that divine agreement/covenant.

And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Again, reaffirming "the two shall become one flesh." God uses the word treacherously, (baw-gad) which means to unfaithfully forsake or to offend in forsaking, three times. There can be no stronger statement by God concerning divorce in all of the Bible when He says, for the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth (Hebrew, saw-nay, lit. enemy or foe) of putting away. He closes by giving us a warning therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

Divorce is likened to "covering one's garment with violence." This figurative expression may refer to the custom of spreading a garment of protection over a woman by a man who wanted to claim her as his wife (Ruth 3:9; Ezra 16:8). It is apparent here that when God says, "I hate divorce," He is talking about that act of betrayal where a man leaves his wife (i.e. the wife of his youth) and seeks out another. In the context of the Malachi passage it seems clear that God detests such action, and commands the man to "pay attention to your conscience, and do not be unfaithful."

Are we to glean from this that the man who has been "unfaithful" to his first wife should leave his second and go back to his first? If this man continues in his adulterous relationship with his second wife will God continue not to hear his prayers even though he covers "the altar of the Lord with tears?" What if his first wife has remarried is the man simply to live a single life?

Whatever the question may be, it seems apparent that God does hate divorce when a man leaves his first wife and marries another. It does not seem that God hates divorce in the case of the situation in the book of Ezra since the marriages mentioned in the book of Ezra were violations of God's will from the beginning. It also seems apparent that the passage in Malachi, which states that God "hates divorce," does not contradict the passage in Ezra where divorce is permitted.

God hates divorce! For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away. It was not in His plan or design that divorces should ever happen. This one single passage should be enough shouldn't it? Do you honestly think that for some reason that God changed His mind about divorce, and now He just loves it? Obviously the answer is NO! He still hates it! Which brings us to the New Testament teaching on divorce. Common sense would tell us that if God hates divorce, then Jesus would hate divorce too.

Before we do that let me say this, yes God hates divorce. And yes, it's a dreadful sin. However God hates other sins as well. If we attempt to make divorce the "only sin" God hates than we're being unfaithful to "the whole council of God." For God also hates a proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, an heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, a false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren, and the deeds of the Nicolaitans. (Proverbs 6:18,19; Revelation 2:6)

The New Testament

Let's deal with the passages that speak to divorce in the New Testament. In all of the Old Testament, and even in the New, the language is heavily constructed to indicate that a "man" was not to divorce or to put away; never the women being the initiator. In the entire Bible women are never ever to leave their husbands (Jeremiah 3:20).

We need to take note that in both the Old and New Testaments fornication (sex before marriage) and adultery (having sex with someone else's wife or husband) are condemned as sin. In the Old Testament polygamy (having more than one wife, polyandry is having more than one husband) is there. Some men of God had many wives; God neither condemns nor condones this (see the study on polygamy).

"Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily. But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost." (Matthew 1:19-20)

When we enter the New Testament we discover this passage in Matthew. Right away we're taken in our minds back to Deuteronomy 24:1-4. Undoubtedly, this is what was intended here. When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph… During this time Jews still practiced the custom of betrothal/espousal (Greek mnace-tyoo'o meaning to give a souvenir, betrothal).

Joseph and Mary were considered husband and wife even before they came together—to have sex to complete the marriage. According to Deuteronomy 24 Joseph could have taken Mary and having "found something unclean" in her put her away. However, in this case he would have not found anything unclean because she did not have sexual relations with any man. We're not told how Joseph found out about her pregnancy, but it is quite likely that he saw her condition after the three months with Elizabeth (Luke 1:56) or she told him which is more likely. Matthew 1:19-20 is simply telling us a time frame—from the time she was pregnant to Joseph finding out.

Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily. Joseph wanted to follow God completely, and in doing so he contemplates a way out. Not knowing this was an act of the Holy Spirit, and an apomaxis (pregnancy without the male sperm), he decides to put her away (Greek apoluo, ap-ol-oo-o, meaning to send away, put away, dismiss, divorce, release, loose) privily or secretly.

Why secretly? Because he did not want to make her a publick example. That is, he did not want to give her a bill of divorcement and send her out which would have branded her a divorcee and incur the stigma forever of having been naked before another man. He's told not to worry about taking Mary as his wife because really she was clean and there was no need to put her away. What this example tells us, among other things, is that the divorcing of a wife according to Deuteronomy 24 because of fornication (uncleanness, sex with someone else) before or right after consummation is the only valid reason for divorce. Not for adultery as some believe.

One would be hard pressed today to have this happen. Although it's not impossible there might be hundreds of cases, but in modern society modesty and respect of innocence is all but gone. Millions of single people do not think twice about having sex with multiple partners before they finally select one for life. Children are having sex now a days as early as seventh and eighth grade! How shocking, how sad, and how painful.

The sanctity of virginity is thrown in the trash in today's society. People have turned the Biblical reason for divorce into a license for something else just because they are unfaithful in their marriage. Instead of divorcing someone because they "committed adultery well into their marriage" they should have stopped the marriage in the beginning because one of the couple had sex with someone else before they "officially" married.

Consider Matthew 14:1-4, which records the beheading of John the Baptist, as the result of what he had told King Herod. "At that time Herod the tetrarch heard of the fame of Jesus, and said unto his servants, this is John the Baptist; he is risen from the dead; and therefore mighty works do show forth themselves in him. For Herod had laid hold on John [this had happened previously], and bound him, and put him in prison for Herodias' sake, his brother Philip’s wife. For John said unto him [in the past], It is not lawful for you to have her."

Marriage is a special relationship between man and woman. It may be righteous (right) or may not be. Just because the relationship is there does not mean it is right before God. In Mark 6:17,18 Herod married Herodius, John said it not lawful to have her. Why? She was "thy brother's wife" She was married to Herod, yet she was not referred to as Herod's wife but the wife of Philip. Herodius was married to Herod by laws of man but as far as God was concerned she was married to another man. How do we know this?

According to Josephus in Antiquities of the Jews book 17, para. 14, Herodias was betrothed about 6 B.C. to Herod the son of Herod the Great whose personal name seems to have been Philip. Josephus also states, "But Herodias, their sister, was married to Herod [Philip], the son of Herod the Great, who was born of Mariamne, the daughter of Simon the high priest, who had a daughter, Salome; after whose birth Herodias took upon her to confound the laws of our country, and divorced herself from her husband while he was alive, and was married to Herod [Antipas], her husband's brother by the father's side, he was tetrarch of Galilee." (Antiquities of the Jews, Book 18, Chapter 5, para. 4)

If one can divorce for any reason, and even for the so-called exception clause why was John the Baptist so adamant that Herod and Herodias were in sin in their marriage? If divorce and remarriage to someone else was ok, as was the case with Herod and Herodias, why were they so strongly condemned? Because it was not ok.

If a marriage that God has said is unlawful and is adultery according to Matthew 19:9 then is a person that has been divorced and remarried committing adultery? Yes, he or she may have been forgiven for the past sins of adultery, but if the person continues to violate God's law they have new sins they have placed upon themselves. This is the very point that Paul made in Romans 6:1-2. Paul said, "What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it?" Paul says that simply because we have had our sins forgiven does not mean that we allowed to continue sinning. In fact, we are to be dead to sin and alive to God (Romans 6:11).

So when a man or woman divorces their spouse and remarries another it is an immoral act. They have committed adultery, and this is radically serious because marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4; see also 1 Corinthians 6:9-10; Revelation 21:8

"It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." (Matthew 5:31,32)

Jesus is speaking to disciples as well as those that have gathered on the mount (5:1,2). If you think He was only speaking to the Jews, or that Matthew was only written to the Jews, then you will need to remove all of Matthew from your Bible because it does not pertain to you. Obviously, that's nonsense because all of Scripture of profitable to all of us. He has just finished speaking about adultery in verses 27 and 28 saying, "Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." He picks up on the issue of divorce keeping with His teaching on comparing the law to His standards.

He then says, "It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement." This is a clear reference to Deuteronomy 24:1-4 of that there can be no doubt. Notice the use of the colon (:) which introduces a related statement. Make no mistake Jesus is relating the reference to Deuteronomy 24 to His statements. The disciples and the Jews would have understood His reference to Deuteronomy 24, in which we find that it was considered valid right up to Joseph and Mary in chapter 1:19.

Now using the full force of His authority, and seeing we are commanded by God Himself to listen to Jesus, "While he yet spake, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them: and behold a voice out of the cloud, which said, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased; hear ye him." (Matthew 17:5) Jesus says, but I say unto you.

Did you hear that? Jesus says listen to me I'm telling you, "that whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery:" We notice several things here. First, whosoever any man Christian or not. Second, put away (Greek apoluo, ap-ol-oo-o, meaning to send away, put away, dismiss, divorce, release, or loose) this is the same word used in Matthew 1:19 with Joseph and Mary. Third, saving for the cause of fornication this is the famous exception clause. We have absolutely established without a doubt that this can only refer to "some uncleanness fornication—sex with someone other than a bothered before consummation or immediately after consummation and is discovered."

Many will attempt to say this means some adultery after two people have been married for sometime, and therefore it is lawful (ok) for divorce. We will discover more from Matthew 19 and Mark 10 on this.

"The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry. But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it." (Matthew 19:3-12)

Matthew 19:3-12 is the fullest expression of our Lord's mind on this matter. Jesus and His disciples have left Capernaum and have come to the costs of Judea beyond the Jordan in which multitudes have followed Him there. It's in this setting that the Pharisees approach Him. Who are these Pharisees? They were a Jewish religious party. Paul was a Pharisee. One of the requirements to be a Pharisee was that you had to be married. They believed in angels, the Holy Spirit, and the resurrection. Just a proud religious party in which they, came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?

They came tempting Him. This word (Greek pi-rad-zo) means to scrutinize, entice, assay, examine, prove, or test. In other words, they did not come to genuinely seek an answer, but to trick or trap Jesus. They ask Him, is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? Mark 10:2-12 omits for every cause. Basically, they want to know if it's lawful (ok, especially with God) to divorce his wife for any reason—anything at all. These Pharisees already had an opinion formed, and only wanted to trap Jesus in His words or attempt to find Him breaking the law by teaching something contrary.

We need to stop here to explain the background history of the question. There are two major schools of thought. One Jewish scribe sometimes referenced as a Rabbi Shammai took a very conservative viewpoint, one probably closer to the truth. He said, in effect, that this must be referring to a sexual problem—sexual uncleanness—whenever it might come to light. But another Rabbi, Rabbi Hillel, took a much broader more liberal view saying that anything causing a new wife to lose favor in her husband's eyes—anything that in his mind is unclean or unseemly—is sufficient grounds for annulment. Taken literally, this came to mean that if she had too many moles on her back, burned the toast, got wrinkles before her time, or was stubborn he could end the marriage. The school of Hillel was more liberal and allowed divorce for every reason [as the Pharisees told Christ]. The more conservative school, in this case those of Shammai, allowed divorce only for unchastity [or adultery or some special promiscuity, prostitution].

Thousands of Jews obtained divorces based on Hillel's ridiculous liberal teaching. King Solomon said, "There is no new thing under the sun," and this is exactly what is happening in today's world. People get divorced because of mental cruelty, alienation of affection, incompatibility, loss of interest, adultery, death of a child, infertility, one party gained weight—and every imaginable reason human nature can devise to "put asunder what God has joined together."  When the Pharisees asked Jesus about divorce they were actually asking for His interpretation of Deuteronomy 24—would He agree more with Shammai or Hillel? And of course to see if He would contradict Moses or not.

Those that are not walking in the Spirit ask this too. And much of the time they don't even care what God has to say about it. They would rather divorce for every cause. Jesus answers them back with a rebuke have ye not read.  How about you have you not read what God says about divorce and understood it? Jesus then proceeds to instruct them in the Scriptures that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

He brings them, and us, back to the beginning to the original plan quoting Genesis two. And they twain shall be one flesh that is when a man and a woman come together for this lifetime relationship, and consummate that marriage by sex they are ceasing to be two and become one by mixing the two flesh. He says, Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. One that cannot, and must not be, divided by men. Jesus says they are NO MORE two but ONE. And again, What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder (Greek chorizo, kho-rid' -zo) meaning depart, to separate, divorce, or divide. What else can this mean? Again, what God hath joined together let not man [includes governments, churches, and of and by men] put asunder. Given this fact we are reluctant to suppose that Jesus would later introduce an exception that could dissolve, break, or divide one into two again correct? I believe so.

They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives.  In a sense they're saying, "how come Moses commanded that we could put away our wives; do you deny the teaching of Moses? Because it's there clear as day?" Jesus answers their question saying, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives. Notice, it was because of the hardness of their hearts—their stubborn refusal to obey God and the continual nagging of Moses to let them do what they wanted to do with their wives.

The hardness of their heart comes in that in finding something wrong, i.e. uncleanness, they wanted to divorce instead of forgiving. Notice, Jesus uses the word suffered which means allowed and not commanded. Jesus closes their argument with the appeal to the original plan but from the beginning it was not so. In other words, it does not matter what Moses, Isaiah, Jeremiah, etc. taught God never allowed this the divorcing of your wives it was not so! It goes back to what God has joined together let not man put asunder.

We need to remember when God starts something only He can change it if He wills or follow through with it being consistent forever. So concerning divorce, God as we just found out from Jesus says it was not from the beginning at all. So that means if God says it was not this way from the beginning then Leviticus, Deuteronomy, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Hosea, Malachi, Matthew, Mark, Luke, Romans, and 1 Corinthians will all agree to this fact.

Jesus now states the famous "exception clause" and I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery. Notice, He says I say unto you. Jesus is giving the full force of His authority no more "you have heard it said of old time" He is the revealed word (manifested expression) of God in the here and now. This is zeroing in on the issue of divorce. Jesus says, whosoever as we saw in Matthew 5:31,32 any man Christian or not. Put away (Greek apoluo, ap-ol-oo-o, meaning to send away, put away, dismiss, divorce, release, or loose) same word used in Matthew 1:19 with Joseph and Mary.  Also note something interesting it says put away his wife it does not say her husband. The Bible nowhere supports a wife putting away her husband. In fact, as Jeremiah states, "surely as a wife treacherously departeth from her husband…." (Jeremiah 3:20) what does this say to the millions of women that have divorced their husbands?

He now states, except it be for fornication.  Except (Greek ei me) means except, saving, or but. It's important to understand that He uses the word fornication (Greek por-ni-ah) meaning figuratively idolatry, or fornication. Look up this word in any dictionary and you will find it means sexual intercourse between unmarried people. "Consensual sexual intercourse between two persons not married to each other." He than says, and shall marry another, committeth adultery. Jesus uses the word adultery which is the Greek word moichao (moy-khah'-o) meaning a married person having sex with another married person or a single person. There are many that attempt to say fornication means adultery; that is simply not true at all!

Let's translate this statement using that type of definition. "And I say unto you, Whosoever [Christian or non-Christian] shall put away [divorce] his wife, except [but] it be for [adultery], and shall marry another, committeth adultery.  If we use this logic how would it be possible to divorce your wife for adultery, and then you marry another in which you commit adultery in the very thing you put your wife away for? Fornication (Greek por-ni-ah) has to mean "Consensual sexual intercourse between two persons not married to each other." Moreover, this is referring to situations that were described in Deuteronomy 22:13-19, 24:1-4, and Matthew 1:18,19—something unclean (lying or caught having had sex with someone before the consummation of the marriage).

If the verse is read omitting the exception clause "except it be for fornication" it will be seen that divorce and remarriage are forbidden in the strongest terms. There are NO exception phrases in Luke 16:18 or Mark 10:2-12 leaving divorce strictly forbidden for any cause. The exception rests with the word "fornication." While the word "adultery" occurs later in the same verse twice, and since two different words are used in the same verse we are forced to conclude that there is a definite distinction in the use and definitions of "fornication" and "adultery."

For if "fornication" always means "adultery" then Galatians 5:19 would have no need for the additional word, "adultery" immediately followed by the word, "fornication." But both words are required for complete explanation here; therefore there is a difference in the words "fornication and adultery." In Black's Law Dictionary fornication still lists the original meaning as "illegitimate sex relation on the part of an unmarried person." While adultery means "illegitimate sex relation on the part of the married person."

Porneia, from which our word pornography comes from is the word "fornication" which means general unchastity of a person. However, when in the same verse the Lord Jesus used it in contrast to moicheia adultery meaning the unchastity of a married person. We're forced to conclude that fornication (porneia) is used here in a specific sense of premarital immorality of the unmarried person.

A husband lusting after another woman in his heart committing spiritual adultery so to speak does not end marriage in one flesh. Nor does a singular act of physical adultery (the American definition of the word adultery) end a marriage. Nor does fulfilling the biblical definition of adultery (by committing divorce and remarriage) while the ex-spouse is still physically alive. None of these acts, actions, or states of living in sin dissolve, or break a marriage.

We conclude that the exception phrases "saving for the cause of fornication" and "except it be for fornication" in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9 respectively; allows for the termination of a betrothal contract if the woman is found guilty of immorality before the marriage is consummated. Once consummated, marriage is indissoluble because the two have become one flesh divisible only by the physical death of one the spouses.

In His comments on divorce, Jesus explained that divorce represents a change in God's order because "from the beginning it was not so" (Matthew 19:8).

The Greek word porneia, from which we derive the word pornography, comes from the root word pernemi—"to sell." The original idea was to offer one's body for a price. The word was used especially of slaves and meant "a harlot for hire." If Jesus intended to permit divorce specifically in the case of adultery He would probably have used the explicit term moicheia. The fact that He used another term suggests that porneia may refer to something other than adultery.

Some have claimed this word means or includes "adultery" and that this is what Jesus had in mind. If Jesus had wanted to say "adultery"—if He had adultery in mind—He would have used a different Greek word moicheia. Nowhere in the New Testament is porneia used where the meaning in context is adultery. Nowhere! This would be the only place (of 26 times) if indeed Jesus meant adultery. While porneia can include any form of sexual sin it only does so one time in the New Testament (1 Corinthians 5:1).

This word always means "fornication"—sex prior to marriage. It involves sins that were hidden, only coming to light after marriage, thus resulting in fraud. If Jesus did not want to see a party thrust into a future adulterous marriage why would He focus on adultery in the existing marriage as the cause to end it? Remember, if that is the reason the marriage ended in the first place why the concern that one party would commit more adultery? Why would a husband be concerned about his wife committing further adultery when that is the very reason he would be putting her out? He would not!

Now think further about this second point. If Jesus had meant adultery, and recall that He said lust is adultery, then if a woman catches her husband watching another woman along the street for too long she can say "you're lusting! I'm leaving you for adultery—lust of the heart!" Again, if Jesus had included adultery in the exception clause, and He had defined adultery as lust, both parties in every marriage would have to sit down at the end of every day and discuss whether either had lusted that day. Presumably, if both answered no, then they could remain married for one more day. Of course this is ridiculous, but it does help to see through the kind of thinking that some looking for a way out of a marriage fall into convincing themselves that Jesus authorized it.

Some have attempted to claim marital fraud years, or even decades, into a marriage. The following analogy helps to explain why this is wrong, and not what Christ intended. Suppose you buy a used car and the odometer reads 20,000 miles. Now suppose you ask the dealer how many miles are on the vehicle. He says 20,000, when it really has 120,000 miles (of course it's illegal to alter the odometer of a car). You drive the car off the lot and the engine is functioning fine. You think you have a 20,000-mile automobile. After six years, you have driven another 100,000 miles now thinking it has 120,000 miles on it. At this point, you learn the car has actually been driven 220,000 miles. Can you return six years later claiming you were cheated—defrauded? Certainly you were not treated fairly. The car was serviceable for six years and you drove it 100,000 miles! While not perfect, this analogy makes the point.

Jesus was not opening the floodgates to allow any reason for divorce. In reality He was closing the floodgates—returning marriage to the original sanctity that God had given it in the Garden of Eden. He was saying in effect, "unless there is fraud, just like Moses wrote in Deuteronomy 22 in which the woman is not a virgin, the marriage is bound." While the Pharisees might have been hard of heart and unable to forgive or overlook a Christian must forgive. But Jesus understood and taught that this knowledge is only "given" to certain people—those who have the Spirit of God and are able to understand and forgive; not those looking for an easy way out of a lifelong commitment.

Let's look at the second half of Jesus' answer adultery and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. In the second half of Jesus' statement notice the use of the colon (:) which introduces a related statement and the use of the word and which is a conjunction that joins the two statements together. In other words the first and second statements are related to each other. The warning comes whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.  Why would He say that if divorce were truly a breaking of the original marriage?

The disciples query Him on this difficult statement. His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry. What the disciples are saying is that it would be better not to marry than to marry and not be able to get out of it. Remember to them this was shocking—the strictness of Jesus' statement because He was telling them they could not divorce at all. And if they did it was only to be the man if he found uncleanness in her; which was sleeping with someone before her engaged spouse no other reasons are allowed.

What prompted the disciples to make such a harsh statement? It is by our nature impossible to judge accurately what another man has on his mind and in his heart unless he tells us his own truthful thoughts. And so it is in this case. Our best guess might or might not be correct.

Based on the text and its own defining context it would appear that the disciples believed the same way as the Pharisees--that a man could divorce his wife for any reason at all. When Jesus called such behavior adulterous, and then stated that God intended that every marriage is of life-long permanence, they concluded that the celibate life would be best. After all, is it not the old cliché that men are scared to death of making a commitment, and even more afraid of getting chained to a nagging, self-willed, and bitter wife?

Jesus answers them back by saying, but he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it. The "this saying" that Jesus is speaking of is "it is good not to marry" addressed by the disciples. Jesus tells them some men will not marry because of either being born like that, being made like that, or being made like that for the kingdom of God. And that those that know their place will follow it.

"And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery." (Mark 10:2-12)

"Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery." (Luke 16:18)

These passages from Mark and Luke further complement what Matthew recorded. However, they are written to a different audience that's a predominantly gentile one. They give the instruction straightforward to target this group of people just as it is to us today. I have grouped together all the verses from the gospels that teach us directly about divorce. In all these passages Jesus says the same thing. Some expand in context depending on the viewpoint the Holy Spirit wanted us to know. Notice, the following in which the theme is the same:

"…Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." (Matthew 5:31,32)

"…Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery." (Matthew 19:9)

"…Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery." (Mark 10:12)

"Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery." (Luke 16:18)

All these agree divorce and remarriage after divorce is a sin.

"The woman saith unto him, Sir, give me this water, that I thirst not, neither come hither to draw. Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither. The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband: For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly. The woman saith unto him, Sir, I perceive that thou art a prophet." (John 4:15-19)

In this passage our Lord is not dealing with divorce here. However, reference to this woman's marital state is. Jesus asks her to call her husband she says she has no husband. It's very possible that she had five husbands and they died. He tells her the one she is living/having sex with now is not her husband. If her husbands in the past had died, and she was having sex with a man she would be guilty of fornication not adultery. But if her husbands were still living and this was a divorce situation (where she divorced and remarried, divorced and remarried, etc.) Jesus would probably have said "you have had five men and your first husband is still living and you're seeing another man now," or something to that effect. Her interaction with the people of the city does not indicate that she was outcast or shunned in anyway. If she had five husbands and divorced them, and Jesus says the one she has now is not her husband, that would only mean that only her first husband is recognized. It would appear that she had five husbands, they died, and the man she is with now she's just living/having sex with and not married to.

"Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man. Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God." (Romans 7:1-4)

These verses are not talking about divorce and remarriage. What it is talking about is marriage and adultery. Theological and natural law says the law has dominion, or rule, over a person as long as they're living for it to be. For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth. A woman married to her husband is to stay with him as long as he is living. But if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. If the husband dies she can go and marry. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress. This is saying if a woman is married to a man and goes, while still married to that man, and marries or has continual sexual relations with another man she will rightly be called an adulteress. The spiritual point is that we are become dead to the law (the first husband) so that we can marry another (the grace of our Lord Jesus).

Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. (1 Corinthians 7:1,2,10-15)

Paul is not saying that men and women are not to "touch" each other. That would be impossible. For example how would one minister by lying on of hands? What if a woman collapsed in your arms or if you had to pull them from a burning car? Would we stop and say, "Nope can't touch you!" No. Given the sexual context it means not to have sex with one another or to cohabit. Which in modern society means live together. Sadly, this is what many, many people do. They're "giving it a try to see if it will work out" this is unscriptural. Don't you understand that from the Bible standpoint if two single people that have never had sex before with anyone come together and have sex they will be considered married?

This is why he says, nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Again the word porneia is used in which, as we already discovered, CANNOT mean adultery. If we inserted the word adultery it would make no sense. Paul now backs up and says what I'm about to tell you I don't command you, but the Lord Jesus does, and unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband.   Notice, to the married, not divorced and remarried, but to the married the Lord commands let not the wife depart from her husband. This is a direct reference to Jeremiah 3:20, and alluded to in Matthew 5:32; 19:6; Mark 10:11,12; Luke 16:18. When we consider, for all intense and purposes, that 1 Corinthians would be the last voice from the New Testament on this issue it's clear our Lord's mind on the matter—a wife is NOT to depart (divorce) her husband.

Now he adds to this by using the colon (:) again which is relating two statements to each other by saying, but and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. He says, but and if she depart, this is not sanctioning divorce at all. It's saying that things happen—the Lord is not unrealistic to think that everyone will follow this rule to the letter. He knows what selfishness and sin can do. Again, let me make it clear He is not sanctioning divorce in any way. The backside of that statement is let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband. She is not free to remarry and she is not free to do what she wants.  Because in the departing (divorcing) she has still broken the marriage covenant she has "… treacherously departeth from her husband. So, if you will, the penalty is she must not remarry she must remain single leaving the door open for a reuniting with her husband. If a woman was to divorce, and God believed it was a valid divorce, why would He bother to tell her to remain single or be reconciled to her husband if He did not believe that her first marriage was still valid? She can be reconciled to her husband, but is not to have another husband a different one.

If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. What's happening here is, if a saved man is married to an unsaved woman and they can get along and continue in their marriage fine he should not desire to divorce her. It's the same with a saved woman and unsaved man.

For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. Here we find that if the situation deteriorates, and the unsaved partner wants out and wants to divorce and there is no stopping them, then the saved person is to let them go. In that case a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such.  But this does not mean the saved person can run out and get remarried. Because it says they are not under bondage means that the saved person is not under bondage to the unsaved person. They should do everything they can to keep it together but not obligated to. The rules of the misfortune of divorce still apply—they would remain unmarried. And if they remained unmarried think of it if one day the unsaved became a believer and wanted to reunite with the believer? They should.

Do you remember the relationship between David and his first wife Michal. When David fled from Saul he left his wife Michal behind, though he had no thought of divorcing her, and he did not give her a writing of divorcement. Saul, in an apparent insult to David, gave Michal to another man for a wife. Yet this was an illegal action, for Michal was still married to David. After Saul died and the Northern Tribes wanted to take David as their king, David said that they would first be required to restore his wife to him. Hence King David murdered Bathsheba's husband so he could marry her, and he reaped the whirlwind in his family thereafter as a result of his adultery.

We must also remember not to make Paul contradict Christ. We know the marriage rule is for a wife not to leave her husband, and for a husband not to leave his wife. If the weaker vessel in a marriage covenant is under insupportable duress--abused verbally, physically, mentally and spiritually--she may depart, but may not marry another man. Her only option to living celibate is to be reconciled to her former husband (1 Corinthians 7:10-11).

We have to keep in mind that this is not the first period in history when great numbers of people have felt that they could freely divorce and remarry. The Romans, like the Jews, divorced and remarried in great numbers. As did other civilizations that eventually collapsed from moral decay often directly coming from the breakdown of the basic family unit. These are facts of history! A marriage that has come to an end by means of divorce in no way allows us the freedom to be remarried. There is not even one passage in all of scripture, both Old and New Testaments, that ever states, "It is fine to marry a divorced person." No passage, anywhere, in any part of the Bible. None.

James 4:17 states, "…to him that knows to do good, and does it not, to him it is sin." This verse reveals that people are judged by what they know. This passage is similar to Hebrews 10:26, "For if we sin willfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remains no more sacrifice for sins." To be held accountable for sin, one must know "the truth." Again, once a person comes into the truth that person is held accountable for what he does with it. We must state this plainly. Human beings are only held accountable by God for sins they commit after learning the truth.

In this section we have learned the following. People, Christians included, get divorced which is sin. Divorce means when a marriage between a man and a woman ends in which both parties agree to leave the relationship never intending to return. Legal divorce does not dissolve a marriage. No where is approval given for a woman to be the initiator in a divorce. The LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away. The exception clause means fornication—some uncleanness (sex) before marriage. No one can divorce and remarry if the other spouse is still living.

What is Adultery?

Adultery is defined always as a married person having sex with another married person or a single person. It's sin and is forbidden by God in the Ten Commandments and the law. It was punishable by death.

"If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel." (Deuteronomy 22:22)

Adultery refers only to the immoral act after marriage; fornication refers primarily to the act before marriage.

See Genesis 12:12-20; 16:1-3; Leviticus 18:20; 20:10,11,21 (cross to 1 Corinthians 5) Numbers 5:12-31; Deuteronomy 21:10-15; 22:13-29; 28:30 (this came as part of the curse) 2 Samuel 11:1-5,26,27; 12:7-12; Job 24:15; 31:1,9,10; Proverbs 2:16-19; 5:3-20; 6:23-29,32-35; 7:5-27; 9:13-18; 20:16; 30:20; Isaiah 57:3; Jeremiah 5:7,8; 7:9; 9:2; 13:27; 23:10,14; 29:23; Ezekiel 16:31,32; 18:6,11,15; 22:11; 33:26; Hosea 3:1,3; 4:2,13,14; 7:4; Malachi 3:5. Matthew 5:27,28; 14:3,4,6-12; 15:19; 16:4; 19:18; Mark 6:17,18; 7:21; 10:19; Luke 16:18; 18:11; John 4:16-18; 8:3-11,41; Romans 7:2,3 (note here she is an adulteress if she, ginomai, have come to, or be with another man). 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:9,15,16,18; chapter 7; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; James 2:11; 4:4; 2 Peter 2:14.

In Revelation 2:22 we see the phrase "commit adultery" this is the same word used in Matthew 19:9 "moicheuo." Which is an act Jesus says is in need of repenting of. This is the same for James 2:11; Romans 2:22; 13:9; and Luke 18:20.

What is Fornication?

Fornication is sex between two unmarried people. A person not married having sex with someone married would be committing fornication the married person having sex with the unmarried person is committing adultery. There was sin in ignorance, which is forgiven if confession is made, and sin of presumption Leviticus 4:2,13,20,26,28,31,35; 17:11; Numbers 5:6-8; 15:29; Numbers 15:30,31, 32,36 (which are examples of this type of sin).

We understand from both the Old and New Testaments that God created and instituted marriage. This was between a man and a woman only. We also understand that adultery and fornication did happen and that people made mistakes in their lives whether they knew God or not. We must understand that even though divorce is bad and more Christians need to stop considering it. It's not the "worst sin" or the "unpardonable sin." It is however a quagmire of problems and difficulties.

The principle that our origin is from God is of little doubt. Our beginnings originated from God, and as such, our first nature was pure from any stain of evil. Man lived in harmony with God for a time--sharing His holiness and purity. However, man came to know sin and evil bringing death and destruction of the soul. God had given them everything making only one prohibition—keep away from "the tree of the knowledge good and evil." (Genesis 2:16,17)

The command was soon broken and sin entered in (Genesis 3:1-19). From this point sin entered in, and by man sin effected all humans from Adam onward. The Bible is clear on this. We have provided ample evidence, and that from God's Word, that we're totally lost and depraved in need of salvation. The Bible is very clear on this—our dependency on someone or something for salvation to bring us back to that state as found with God and Adam originally.

Understand we have "inherited sin" passed from Adam onward.

"Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned." (Romans 5:12)

We must also understand that we have "actual sin" that we've committed.

"Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death." (James 1:15)

In other words, we have inherent transgression from Adam, and actual sin manifested because of that original inherited sin. So the conclusion is, we're lost in a condition of total depravity, filled with sin both inherent and actual, and this sin is a total block to our communion with God. God is a Holy and Righteous God, and we can never hope to be united with Him, or have fellowship with Him in such a sinful corrupted state. The Bible is very clear that our sins need to be eradicated, and a new cleansed soul needs to be imparted to us. In the Old Testament Christ was foreshadowed in the offerings and sacrifices for sin—by the blood upon the altar. In the New Testament Jesus Christ is that God-man savior that came to "take away the sins of the world."

To summarize, before we continue, the information about salvation comes from God's Word alone. There is a holy God who created us. We have a nature to sin—inherent and actual. This separates us from a just holy and righteous God. We need cleansing and salvation for sins, by God in Christ, to be united with Him. Salvation to God was obtained for the elect in the person and work of Jesus Christ. For an expanded full understanding on salvation go to: www.kingshouse.org/sallose.htm

Forgiveness

There is no biblical reason to atone for past mistakes such as adultery or unjustified divorces. Atonement was accomplished by the substitutionary, propitiatory, finished-work of the Lord Jesus Christ who paid the penalty of sin for all by His death on the cross at Calvary. Instead, if they truly have repented of their past failures, and are determined and resolute about not committing that type of sin again, they are forgiven sinners under the grace of God. However, as the book of Romans argues God's grace and forgiveness is not something we should take advantage of just because God always stands ready to forgive us if we sincerely repent of our moral failures. Rather, we always should strive to do our very best not to repeat any sinful mistake; most certainly we should not act in a cavalier manner, committing the same sin over and over again, knowing full well we can always take refuge in God's willingness to forgive us.

Therefore, even though we live under God's grace and forgiveness we do have a moral obligation to do our very best not to commit the same horrendous sin again. But after that person has been forgiven, God expects them to make a "good-faith" effort, through the power and guidance of the Holy Spirit, to obey the commandments of Jesus to the best of their ability. That's why Jesus said, "Go, and sin no more." Jesus expected her to repent of her SIN and change her behavior after her encounter with Him. His reaction would certainly be much different if the same woman were brought to Him again with the same SIN, wouldn't it?

It makes no sense if your in a re-marriage if it's an adulterous relationship because that would be in a state of permanent adultery, and as you cannot be a Christian and deliberately sin (which you would be doing by staying in the marriage) you can't go to heaven unless you divorce, and you can't divorce because it would be sin. And there the circle begins all over again because you shouldn't divorce.

All sins SHALL be forgiven, that includes adultery. If you remarry and then find this out you cannot divorce because you make your partner an adulterer and you cannot stay with your partner because then you are an adulterer. And then to be forgiven you would need to divorce, but if you divorce you sin again! We need to realize that He wouldn't put someone in a situation where no matter what they did they would be sinning. "God never changes moods or cools off in His affections or loses enthusiasm. His attitude toward sin is now the same as it was when He drove out the sinful man from the eastward garden, and His attitude toward the sinner the same as when He stretched forth His hands and cried, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

There is no evidence of Christians being taught to put away spouses in the New Testament. The position further argues that we never read of any situation where Jesus or the apostles preached for people to put away their adulterous marriages. They tell us to consider all the immoral situations that these people would find themselves in. Like in Corinth where sexual immorality ran rampant. Yes, there's the situations in Ezra were they put away foreign women. However, some things should be noted about that. One, they were not married before. Two, these were women strictly forbidden by God to marry. Third, it was a man that came up with the idea and not God. And four, remember the rule we never interpret the New Testament in light of the Old.

They argue, if God wanted Christians to put away their spouses don't you think there would be a command to do so, or an example in the New Testament of Christians doing such? Since when does silence give authority for action? Silence authorizes nothing. Silence is just that silence. If silence gives authority, then we can have rock and roll bands, give away prizes, hold raffles, play bingo, throw Super Bowl parties, and have other such acts as worship.

Is there forgiveness with God? Yes. If Christians that have divorced and remarried are in a continual state of sin than they would go to hell. If a Christian that loves God with all his or her heart and is in a continual state of sin they would go to hell? If such Christians were in this continual state of sin, even if they were ignorant at the time, then they would go to hell? No. God does forgive. Yes, there will be consequences and that will be for you to bear.

It's very important for us to understand one thing. For Christians to divorce is a sin it's something that must not happen. It must be avoided as much as you would avoid other sins. To remarry after divorce is a sin. We must not be presumptuous in our actions. We can't say "oh well if I divorce and remarry God will forgive me" that is willful sin. On the other hand ignorance of what is wrong will not be held against you if you come to realize it and repent.

For example, there was a fellow that had never been married. He was a new Christian and had never fully understood the teaching on divorce. Furthermore he was taught, as many are today, that divorce is ok for the Christian if one of the spouses commits adultery. Later he met a woman that had been divorced, believing as he did, he married her. After several years and much study he came to realize that he had made a grievous mistake. He was broken before God and repented sincerely and tearfully. What would you say to Him? You must divorce your current wife? Or you did it ignorantly God forgives you go on with God? You decide.

What the Early Church had to say

As we give evidence from what the early Church believed we MUST remember that these are "their opinions" they are not inspired nor are they authoritative. They simply give us an idea of what they thought on the matter.

"All who have been twice married by human law, are sinners in the eyes of our Master." (Justin Martyr, A.D.160)

"The Lord also showed that certain provisions were enacted for them by Moses on account of their hardness…. It was for that reason that they received from Moses this law of divorce, adapted to their hard nature." (Irenaeus A.D.180)

"The Lord holds it more pleasing that the marriage not be contracted, than that it should at all be dissolved. In short, he prohibits divorce, except for the cause of fornication." (Tertullian A.D. 205)

"A wife must not depart from her husband. Or, if she should depart, she must remain unmarried." (Cyprian A.D. 250)

"If a layman divorces his own wife and takes another—of if he marries one divorced by another—let him be suspended." (Apostolic Constitutions A.D. 390)

"What then shall the husband do, if the wife continue in this disposition [adultery]? Let him divorce her, and let the husband remain single. But if he divorce his wife and marry another, he too commits adultery" (Hermas, The Shepherd 4:1:6 A.D.80)

"In regard to chastity, [Jesus] has-this to say: 'If anyone look with lust at a woman, he has already before God committed adultery in his heart.' And, 'Whoever marries a woman who has been divorced from another husband, commits adultery.' According to our Teacher, just as they are sinners who contract a second marriage, even though it be in accord with human law, so also are they sinners who look with lustful desire at a woman. He repudiates not only one who actually commits adultery, but even one who wishes to do so; for not only our actions are manifest to God, but even our thoughts" (Justin Martyr, First Apology 15, A.D. 151)

"That Scripture counsels marriage, however, and never allows any release from the union, is expressly contained in the law: 'You shall not divorce a wife, except for reason of immorality.' And it regards as adultery the marriage of a spouse, while the one from whom a separation was made is still alive. 'Whoever takes a divorced woman as wife commits adultery,' it says; for 'if anyone divorce his wife, he debauches her'; that is, he compels her to commit adultery. And not only does he that divorces her become the cause of this, but also he that takes the woman and gives her the opportunity of sinning; for if he did not take her, she would return to her husband" (Clement of Alexandria, Miscellanies 2:23:145:3, A.D. 208)

"Just as a woman is an adulteress, even though she seem to be married to a man, while a former husband yet lives, so also the man who seems to marry her who has been divorced does not marry her, but, according to the declaration of our Savior, he commits adultery with her." (Origen, Commentaries on Matthew 14:24 A.D. 248)

"A man who marries after another man's wife has been taken away from him will be charged with adultery in the case of the first woman; but in the case of the second he will be guiltless" (Basil the Great, Second Canonical Letter to Amphilochius 199:37, A.D. 375)

"Do not tell me about the violence of the ravisher, about the persuasiveness of a mother, about the authority of a father, about the influence of relatives, about the intrigues and insolence of servants, or about household [financial] losses. So long as a husband lives, be he adulterer, be he sodomite, be he addicted to every kind of vice, if she left him on account of his crimes he is still her husband still and she may not take another" (Jerome, Letters 55:3, A.D. 396)

"A woman begins to be the wife of no later husband unless she has ceased to be the wife of a former one. She will cease to be the wife of a former one, however, if that husband should die, not if he commit fornication. A spouse, therefore, is lawfully dismissed for cause of fornication; but the bond of chastity remains. That is why a man is guilty of adultery if he marries a woman who has been dismissed even for this very reason of fornication" (Augustine, 2:4:4).

Conclusion

The above was just a sampling of the thoughts on divorce from the early Church perspective. We must always remember the writings and council of the early Church fathers are just that council and not Holy Scripture. In regards to this study, we can only conclude the following. After being pulled back to the Scriptures time and time again we see marriage is for life, divorce and remarriage after divorce is a sin.

We have seen several things from the many Scriptures we cited. One God created and institutes marriage. Marriage is a coming together as one, or to be stuck together. Divorce means a splitting, breaking apart separating. In both Old and New Testaments God establishes the principle that one can only marry after the physical death of the spouse.

The following are practical applications:

• We must be very careful and prayerful in whom we choose for a wife or husband. One can not make the decision based on looks, lust, or money that simply is absurd. 

• We must let God choose our spouse. 

• When a Christian is married to a non-Christian and they can live together fine. 

• When a Christian and a non-Christian can't remain married the Christian is to let the non-Christian depart. But they are to remain single after that. 

• When a Christian and a Christian are married and are happy then fine.  

• When a Christian and a Christian are married and things are not working out. A) Seek council and prayer. B) Sacrifice for the other. C) Put forth every and all effort to remain married. D) If it cannot work out separate for a short time. If still no reconciliation can happen then separate BUT DO NOT divorce. And remain separated. Better to separate and sin not than to separate divorce and sin!

Web resources: http://truthseekers.8m.com/DOCTRINE/divorce.htmL and http://truthseekers.8m.com/remarriage.html

Also read why "Christians should not be married by the state."

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